From Your Brother Henry

 27 June  2002                         

 DEAR TUTCH,

 Another  year  has  passed  into  our  lives  and  into  yours  too  had   you been  alive  today. Again, I  have  painstakingly  tried  my  best  to  write  you another letter which I really have no  idea  if  it ever reaches  wherever  you are  right now. Today ,  I feel  so funny  , stupid and angry  at   myself  for  letting  those  times  while  you  were  still  with  us  slipped  by without  ever doing this. Not  even  a  single  time  if  I  remember  correctly    ( even in those  days  that  I  was  working  abroad  and you  were  at  the academy ). I have  read  a  letter  a  few  days  after  your  death  which  you  wrote  to  Eya  during  those  time. I  was impressed  at  your  writing  ability  not  to  mention  your  creativity  in  making  an  impression  to  a  girl  which  later  became  your  wife. In  retrospect , I  could  have  dropped you  a  line  or  two  but  I had other  things  in  my  mind …. Now, I  have  to  content  myself   to  writing  this  letter  in  deference  to  that  lost  opportunity.

I  must  admit  that  to  date,   the  sad  memories  of  your  sudden  departure  are  still  clearly  etched  in  my  mind. I  could  not  and , I  am  afraid would  not  be  able  to escape  from the  memory  of  that  fateful  night.

And so  on  the occasion  of  your  42^nd  birthday , I  wish you are having  a  happy  one. Wherever  you  are, rest  assured  that  you  will always  be  remembered  in  more  ways  than  one    and  in my  own  little  ways…

 HAPPY  BIRTHDAY !!!

 Kuya  HENRY

My dear Brother,

I am not really good at writing letters and I do not remember any occasion while you were still here with us that I wrote you one. But on the occasion of your 41st birthday, I decided to do it however crazy it may seem. I know in my heart that wherever you are at this very moment, you are able to read this while looking down and watching all over us ( especially Eya and the kids ) who felt the intense pain of losing you in the most untimely manner.

Six months have passed since that fateful night and for the rest of my life, I will not to forget that moment. " Taken away so young, taken away without a warning "... so goes the lyrics of a popular song. Until this point in time, I am still asking the question-why? But I guess life has to go on until such time that we ourselves have to go.

Six months have passed and a lot of things have already  happened both in our country's situation in general and our personal lives in particular. Wala na si Erap and Gloria took over via EDSA 2 . I do not know if this is good but Ate Glo is having her hands full with so many problems (Poverty, Economy, Erap trial and yes….the Abu Sayaff ). In short, our country struggles harder than ever.

Which brings us to a more personal note. I have set my sight on going to Canada not only because of the current situation but to be with Udic who needs comforting now that Mariam is also gone. Likewise, I am trying to help out your beloved Eya redirect her life which has drastically change. She and Alan are taking a Caregiver's course that will enable them also to come to Canada in the near future. Personal issues have come up but I'm sure they're just here on a temporary basis and things will work out well. Dad and Mommy Old have not quite gotten over their grief although they are doing fine.

Finally, let me end this letter by thanking and praising you for what you have done and accomplished in your short stay here. I never really had a chance to do that and I fully regret it but sana kahit man lang sa sulat na ito ay maiparating ko sa iyo- somehow. You have done far more than what is expected as a son, husband, brother, father, son-in-law, brother-in-law,a friend/colleague and as a person.

I love you and I am so proud to have a brother like you.

Good Bye and HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

Brotherly Yours,

Kuya Henry  

….Fondest  Memories

My brother Udic mentioned in one of his letters that I am far more lucky to have spent some quality time with Tutch before he left this animated  world.  Well, in a sense,  he is right .  This is mainly the reason why it pains me a whole lot just being reminded of those FONDEST MEMORIES.

Tutch was a sucker for music. He is the most musically inclined among us. He plays the guitar so well and can often belt out folksy songs in the great tradition of James Taylor and Kenny Rogers. I was even surprised to hear him play the piano that well considering the short span of time that he was fiddling and playing it. He and I both love singing. Those family occasions and gatherings which he loved to host himself  usually turn out to be a musical concert of sort, with him and me singing our hearts out Karaoke-style along with my other brother, Alan. Had he not succumbed earlier , it would have been another grand New Year celebration ( He even bought a new TV set for the Karaoke session ). How I always look forward to those events.

I fondly remember those visits at his Crame office. He is a gracious host and a generous brother. Always " bukas and palad ". He always see to it that I get whatever he can give me before I go. I remember one occasion when he was supposed to lend me his expensive barong for my sister Bobbie's forthcoming wedding. He told me to try it on and when he saw that it fits well, he told me- iyo na iyan. That gesture meant a lot to me.

I fondly remember his effort at cleaning and preparing the house in Pacita for the traditional " pamamanhikan " of our future brother - in - law Jong  and his parents. He painted  the toilet wall to make it look brand new.

I fondly remember his brotherly concern when he learned of my near fatal accident a day before he died. It was he who advised me not to let Mommy Old know thinking of the adverse effect on her not knowing that the worst is yet to come the following day. The fresh wound from the accident has prevented me from joining him in their belated anniversary celebration which was to be the last time.

And finally , I fondly remember his familiar deep-set but faint voice over the phone just hours before he died telling me that he is all right. He was a bit surprised that I was calling him from

Manila Hotel. I told him that my wound is OK and that I was with Kuya Alex. Then I bid him good bye .. It seems that his voice suddenly faded.

  Henry  

                                           December 30, 2001

  Dear  TUTCH , 

             It   has   been    a  year  now  since  you  left  us . A lot  of  things  have  happened   already  in  our  lives  as we   continue  to  go  on  and  struggle  to  accept  the reality  of your  demise  . This  year  was  not  a  good  one  for  our  family  as  another  sad  event  took  place , the  departure  of  another  member  who  followed  suit  just  months  after  she  attended  your  funeral .  I  can  still  remember  Mariam  bright  and  cheerful  as   ever  after  all  these  years .These  very  same  traits  I’m  sure  were  her  most  endearing  qualities  as  she   faced  death  in  her  last  moments.

           And  I  am  also  pretty  sure  that  you  two  are  together  in  the  life  beyond …  somewhere , some  place .

.          The  outside  world   has  also  likewise  gone  through  a  lot  with  so   many  things  that  happened. Unfortunately,  most  of  these  were  tragedies  beyond  your  imagination .  Perhaps  I  may  say  that  you  are  a  bit  luckier  since  you  will  not  have  to  experience   and  deal  with  these  in  your  lifetime . But  at  the  same  time , I  wonder  how    you  would  have  reacted  to  these  sensational  happenings  If  you  were  alive . I  could  imagine  how  you  would  rejoice  at  EDSA  2 , sneer  at  Ador  Mawanay , cheer  for  Rosebud ,  terrified  at  WTC  bombing  condemning  Bin  Laden  , sing  the  latest  tune  on  Karaoke , ask  your  64  dollar  question  then  give  your  cents  worth  of  opinion  on  Nida  Blanca  murder  case  and  so  many  others . In   fact , I  could  also  imagine  where  you  would  be  at  this  very  moment – with  your  family  because  they  are  your  life .

               It  really  pains  me  a  whole  lot  to  see  so  forgive  me  if  I  do  not  visit  your  grave  and  your  family  more  often  than  you  would  expect  me . Hindi  ko  pa  rin  matanggap  until  now  and  like  so  many  other  loved  ones  who  were  suddenly  left  behind , I  am  still  coping  up. But  I  always  do remember  you  in  my  own  simple  way . You  were  a  great  loss  to  our  family . Rest  assured  that  they  too  remember –  especially  Mommy  and  Daddy  Old .

             A  week  or  so  ago , we  were  blessed  with  the  latest  addition  to  our  family.  Bobbie’s   son  will be  named  Angelo  Rene  in  your  memory . It  s  just  a pity  that  he  will  not  be able  to  meet   you  in  his  lifetime  but  the  memories will  linger and  stories  will  be  told  and  he  will  also  remember    in  his  own  simple  way.

Merry  Christmas  and  Happy  New  Year !!!!

Kuya   Henry